Sunday, May 12, 2013

Asking woman out. 5 tips for better success

Asking a woman out can be a challenge for some of us guys. For one reason or another we are to shy, too nervous or worry about the right thing to say. For you maybe every woman you ask is nerve racking. Maybe its that one woman you've been wanting to ask for a while. Maybe you don't have any trouble asking woman out but rather they frequently say no? Here are a few tips that if applied will make asking a woman out easier and you'll get a more positive response.


Have a better perspective
Take into account your view of a date. If thinking about asking a woman on a date brings feelings you don't enjoy you may have the wrong perspective about dating, change that. How do i mean? If your idea of asking a woman out on a date begins with "Hey do you want to go on a date" or similar, you clearly are treating this like a date. If you're comfortable with that and that works then great. It didn't work great for me. I always felt pressure and took it more serious than I should because it was a "date". I over came this by deciding in my mind when it came to taking a girl on a date that, I was going out and inviting a girl along. For example: If I want to take a girl hiking for a date this is what I think of it as. I want to go hiking Saturday morning and I want to invite Brittney along. If she can't come that's ok because i'm still going. Think about how this sounds different then "I want to take Brittney out on a date and we'll go hiking."

Ask them on a date, not a bike ride
What do I mean? I mean start out at the top and just see if the girl is open to going on a date with you first! Then figure out the date and time. You're more likely to know up front if they say no it's because they are just not interested and not because when you asked them out you said something like: "Hey Ashley, do you want to go on a date? Lets go bike riding Wednesday. I think 5pm would work best." I can see at least 3 reasons why she couldn't go even if she wanted to. By asking that way getting a no could be a false negative. Do you see why? You just asked her if going bike riding Wednesday at 5pm works. Before she can ever say yes to going on a date she's going to have to probably say no because she already has something going on and might not have a bike to ride. Try this: "Hey Ashley, I'm going bike riding this week, it will be a lot of fun and you should come!" Listen for her response and take it from there.

Give a weeks notice
Don't ask way far out too. A lot can change in 3 weeks. A weeks notice shows you thought ahead and also allows you to over come any schedule conflicts which do happen often. A last minute request can work but often times that show a lack in preparation. The woman could feel like a last minute option especially if it's a group date. Don't open your schedule to her either have a few days and time ranges you could do the date and stick to those, even if it means having to push it back a few days. You have a life too.

listen for the raincheck hint
Sometimes all that planning and smooth talking just can't over come a schedule conflict. That's ok it's going to happen. Do you know how to tell when that does happen and when she would like you to ask her another time? Listen for it. Most girls can read between the lines so they will let you know if you just asked them at the wrong time but they would still like to go out with you so take their word when they say, "I can't that night but how about another time"

Make it easy for them to say no
No one likes being cornered. Let them know if they can't that "it's ok, no worries." Why? because when you give someone the power to make a decision and they don't feel pressured they appreciate that. For example saying something like: "Hey Angie! So what are you doing this weekend? oh nothing? Do you wan to go on a date with me?" Even if she wanted to you just cornered her. Try something on the lines of " Hey Angie! If you aren't doing anything this weekend I'm going hiking and it will be a lot of fun! You should come with me and if you can't no worries but you should come!"


a few more
Have some toppings with that invite

Invite them on the "bus"

Do more then "I want to go on a date, will you go out with me?"

Don't treat it like a date

Ask her in person







No comments:

Post a Comment