This one Time...

A very long time ago. When I was younger and less intelligent. I had a group date with a few friends. I hadn't taken the liberty to ask anyone until about 1 day before the actual date activity. I now know this spells disaster and rejection. Why? Because of a few reasons i'll explain after finishing this awesome story.

When the moment came to ask the girl out I wasn't too worried because at this point in my life I was good friends with many girls and surely any of them would be willing to go on a date with me(even though i hadn't taken the thought to actually date them until this). So I nervously made the first call(and not the last one either) to find a date at the last minute. After calling about 4 girls and no luck, my guy friend who was with me called up a really good female friend of his. She was also a friend  of mine and he informed her I had something to ask her. I remember saying something on the lines of this

"Hey Tiffany(fake name), this is Matt. How are you? oh that's good. I'm good too. Nothing really. A few of the guys are going on a date night tomorrow and I forgot to ask someone so I need to find someone to go with. I've already called 4 other girls and none of them can go because it's tomorrow. I really need to find someone would you be able to go on a date with me?...........oh you can't? Please? oh ok....bye"

I am not joking. That's pretty close to what i can remember saying. I am pretty sure this is what she heard

"Hey good friend! Your friend who's my friend just set you up for a favor. I'm delaying asking you the question my friend told you I wanted to ask. I'm not a very good planner and am going to ask you a big favor of going on a date with me at the last minute. I hope you're available so you don't make me feel dumber then i'm making you feel right now. By the way I've already asked 4 other girls out so IF you are genuinely interested in me you just found out there are 4 other girls already ahead of you! I've probably never thought of you more then a friend. I really am just asking you out because I want to go hang with my friends so it's nothing(literally). This really isn't a date but everyone else will think it is. So being my friend would you please do this for me? I really thought you would."

 Yeah something on the lines of that is what she heard. Could probably add a few more lines to it. I've come along way haha. What could have prevented this? a few things. I'll go over the 1 that would have prevented it all.

Planning ahead
There are times when this doesn't apply such as just meeting a girl and you both found out some cool event or activity is going down so you ask her then adding a "IF you're available" at the end of the question(always give them an easy way out to say no).
generally ask a girl out 1 week in advance meaning if you want to go out on a Thursday do it before Monday of that week. Why do this? because you assume the girl has a life, because you do too. Because it means you have less a chance of them being busy. You avoid having to ask several girls out at the last minute. When a girl wants to go out with you but because you asked too they weren't available kinda bothers them I think(assuming they are interested). Now they just might have to wait for you to muster up enough courage to try again!


It's embarrassing. Because if you had planned ahead they would have said yes. Now you are left to figure out whether to ask them out again or find another date that will work on the phone right then or assume they aren't interested in you. If they know how to communicate well this isn't a problem. When a girl isn't available you listen for something that says "i'm available another time". If you hear this you already have planned a day that you're available. Try not let them know you're schedule is wide open just for them! Not that it is. But having things to-do in your life as small or simple that they might be is appealing to both men and woman. It says I have a life(if you don't have a hobby or doing something productive in your life pick something and do it for you, not for getting dates). I personally don't want to spend a married life watching movies or doing nothing. If you aren't productive today what says you will be tomorrow?

Planning ahead is courteous and nice. Too much planning ahead spoils the date. I don't like going out more then 7 days between the asking and the date(there are exceptions to this). If you see them weekly I like to get the 1st date over with before seeing them again as a general rule. But I think if you are comfortable with them, meaning you know them a little already don't worry about it.

Don't ever let them know you just asked 4 other woman out. That shows you are not thoughtful and is rude.


Invite them out. 
It's going down if they say yes or no. Example being tomorrows date night activity. You would say something like this "Hey I am going to Barnes and Noble Friday evening. I had this idea I wanted to try out there. You should come if you are available. I can pick you up at 7."


So this one time you learned how not to ask a woman out. How to plan ahead and avoid rescheduling.